The Soundtrack of My Life - Part 3

IMHO, it's the people's art, social commentary and reflection that is accessible to all. People find refuge and relation in music, and it would influence opinions and attitudes.

If that's the case, I really have to wonder about the music of the day. I don't mean to knock anybody's particular taste in music. It's a personal experience for everybody. But having said that, I find it shocking how much of the music over the last half of my life has been completely empty and devoid of meaning. And this does not appear in one particular area, the popular music of the day spanning across genres all have been equally shallow. From Britney to Diddy to Limp Bizkit to Nickleback to Black Eyed Peas (post Fergie), the list goes on and on.

I find lately music's been filled with the following subjects, either isolated or in combination:
- how much money they've got
- how many girls they can get
- alcohol consumption
- how hard people can party
- how attractive they are
- love songs or songs of heartache that are not genuine at all that has been so methodically put together by some management/marketing force.

Tom Hanks, in an interview, clearly stated with no hesitation that the 1960s were the pinnacle of music. His opinion may be biased as that time is somewhat linked, if not a tad earlier than his coming of age, but I have to agree with him. The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Motown, older Elvis Prestley, Janis Joplin, Mamas and the Papas, Beach Boys, Bob Dylan, and tons of other artists of that era are timeless. Popular music had something to say.

What happened to music that actually meant something and had some meaning? When did lyrics give way to the amount of bass in a song? When did vocal talent give way to auto-tune? What happened to actual ability and talent?

In the end it would appear that video really did kill the radio star.

But I do hope that the internet will kill the video star. If it hasn't happened already...

The Soundtrack of My Life - Part 2

It's funny, it's almost as if certain music has attached itself to me, becoming part of the very fiber of who I am. Maybe that's why I'm writing so much on this topic.

The influence of the music the formative years clearly carry on far beyond that period. Now as I enter my 30s, hearing Oasis' Wonderwall in the background at some department store or waiting room, while depressing in some regards as it makes me feel every bit my age, still holds as much meaning if not more to me now than it did 15+ years ago. My musical tastes have expanded, more bands, both younger and older, have made their way into my being, but the music from that time will always be special to me.

I also find I attach certain times or memories with songs. Songs of the summer, songs at prom, break up songs, road trip songs, random good time songs, etc... Even the songs you wish you could forget, somehow lodges itself into your brain, never to be forgotten. For instance, Savage Garden's Truly, Madly, Deeply, will always be the song of my high school prom, no matter how terrible in hindsight they may be. I mean who can turn the words "Chicka Cherry Cola" into some pop culture phenomenon. I will always tear up at Johnny Cash's rendition of Hurt, no matter how many times I hear it. Anything Boyz II Men will clearly be associated with awkward high school dances*.

* Note that due to overexposure, anything Boyz II Men, some Alanis Morrisette and Spice Girls (yes I realize that these two artists are polar opposites), with the addition of Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go on, have earned themselves spots in the permanent collection of completely unlistenable.

The Soundtrack of My Life - Part 1

One of the benefits of meeting new people, is hearing new viewpoints on all sorts of topics.

To my surprise, music does not play a major role in some people's lives. To me, this seems next to impossible! In school, music was almost intrinsic in defining a person's identity. 

Socially, in high school and to a lesser extent university, the music you listened to determined who your peers were, and vice versa. From there it influences what people wore, how they spoke, how they carried themselves. You had the wannabe gangstas with the super baggy pants, the ginos with the slicked back hair and the fist pump before it became the fist pump, the indie kids with their acoustic guitars and sheets of tabs laying around, the metal kids with the multiple piercings and so on. This formation of identity plays out long after graduation. Looking at current Facebook photos, as well as posts, of friends from long ago, you can still see how the molding all played out. Maybe there's less piercings, or the hair has less product in it, the clothes are not as flamboyant, but the markers are still there.

How music may not have a major influence on somebody, I have yet to figure out. Even if the interest in the music from an artistic standpoint was only mild, it still played a big role into how people fit into the social construct of school. Having been back in the dating world for a little while, not surprisingly, it's one of the very first topics that come up. To this day, it is still a thread that holds people together and carries, fair or not, certain stereotypes that come along with it.

Because of the above, I will never understand the phrase "I like everything" or "I don't have any preference" when it comes to music. There's just no way...

*** After figuring out I had way more to say about this topic, I decided to break this into two or three separate posts. To be continued...

Is tired of living life on the sidelines...

The best quote from the movie The Rock sums it up.


Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best. 
John Mason: Your "best"! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. 

You tell'em Connery!

This is a must read!

This is a must read! Using profile statistics, this dating website has compiled information based on race and gender to show a more research based definition of race/gender identity. Let me know what you think!

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-real-stuff-white-people-like/

Toronto the Bitter...

Having a conversation today with my best friend, we were discussing about the state of Toronto. After returning from vacation, he remarked that going on vacation had renewed his faith that there are nice people after all. I asked him to clarify. He said that in Toronto, there's a lot of negativity around, but on vacation there were actual nice people. I've heard similar sentiments from my ex-gf previously, among others. It's gotten to the point where even I notice it.

When I got out of university, I desperately, like most recent grads, wanted to move into the city. It seemed as if that's where everything was. The bars, clubs, restaurant, people and the energy. I ended up doing the "responsible" thing and stayed with my parents. I was pretty bummed about the situation, until one day I ran into somebody from school a little while (meaning a year or two) after and chatted about it for a bit. He said that living downtown really isn't what it's cracked up to be. Sure everybody lives downtown, but nobody from school would hang out with each other. Everybody was too busy with work, chores, hobbies, basically life. From then on, I didn't feel so bad.

Recently I had the opportunity to move downtown again. And for a second time, I did not take it, this time opting to stay in the suburbs. For some people, this seemed crazy. Why would I want to stay in the boring land of 6 lane roads, cookie cutter houses and bland food options (sorry Jack Astors, as much as I love your garlic bread, that means you).

Buttery deliciousness!

How exactly did Toronto the Good, or Toronto the Nice become Toronto the Bitter? Has the constant envy of New York City rubbed off? Trying to replicate the New York City roughness charm, but without the charm? There's a constant yuppie culture and hipster culture in the city that screams keeping up with the Joneses. For one group the priority lays in who has the latest purse or phone. The other it's who is buying all their food from The Big Carrot or some other local supermarket that only sells organic, environmentally sustainable, blah, blah, blah. You see it everyday, on the street car, the subway, walking through the concourse.

While I'm all up for looking good and being healthy, making responsible consumer choices, there must be a line somewhere. Must get tiring after awhile, trying to keep up appearances constantly. And for whom exactly? Are the neighbours in the beaches really going to care if they see you carrying a plastic bag, filled with groceries from No Frills? Are the other corporate drones scoffing at your phone that is two years old? And even if they did, why should you care?

I didn't want to get sucked up in this vortex of city culture. Constantly trying to make enough money, to spend on the latest and greatest that city culture has dictated as the new thing. The only opinion that should matter to me is my own, and to be perfectly honest, I don't have the energy.

"It's not having what you want, 

It's wanting what you've got"

- Sheryl Crow

Decisions, decisions

If you're anything like me, you hate making choices.

Even the smallest choices have me riddled with indecision. At restaurants, I can never make up my mind what to order. My process usually involves narrowing down my options to a select 3-5, then when the waitress gets to me, I just randomly choose one. Sometimes I even go off the board!

I don't know why I stress so much over deciding between options. I guess after learning about the butterfly effect, I can't help but be paralyzed by any choice I have to make.

Ashton Kuchar's only respectable movie

If it's so difficult to decide between the angel hair pasta and the veal parm, can you imagine what it's like to have to make bigger decisions?!

Summer, where have you gone?

Recently the weather has been changing dramatically. Just a week ago, you could've sworn I was living in Miami, LA or some other hot place. Then all of a sudden without warning, reality yanks me back to the fact that Toronto is quite a bit north of those destinations. As I look outside, the leaves are changing already on some of the trees.

Though I'm complaining about the weather, there's something reassuring about the changing seasons. There's a rhythm to it, marking the passing of time. I've always wanted to live somewhere that is temperate all year long, but it makes me wonder if people who live in those climates have the same attachment to the weather. Autumn has always marked the start of school, leaves changing, Thanksgiving and Halloween. Winter follows closely by snowball fights, thick sweaters, winter boots and Christmas. Spring gives way to the winter thaw, rain, the return of green and the sun. Summer is holidays, tshirts, sandals and patios.

If we had the same weather year long, I wouldn't have those feelings.

Maybe the Fall isn't that bad after all...

The Power of Dr. Dre and Tupac

50 year old white guy, who has somewhat semi-racist leanings, in the office, tapping his feet and hands to Tupac and Dr Dre's California Love...

OMG, I have no words...

Now I Know What a Dentist Feels Like

You ever have to do something that you know is going to hurt somebody, but you know it's for the best?

I had to do something today that was, for me anyway, utterly gut wrenching. I'd rather get hurt than hurt somebody else. Even if it's the right thing to do.

Must be what it's like to be a dentist. No wonder they have such a high suicide rate...

Less Facebook, More Face Time

Spending less time online and more time on life. That was one of my New Years Resolutions this past year.

While MSN Messenger and Facebook is great, they are extremely counter-productive. Since the emergence of internet socializing, my social life has grown but shrunk at the same time. Since 1996 to now, while I have been able to maintain occasional relations with people I probably would have lost touch with, I have seen actual people in person a lot less.

This seems like the new norm. As our lives are getting busier, people get pushed aside. Work, chores, significant others, hobbies and other take up more time, the first thing that gets cut is social time. While this is not a new phenomenon, it appears that the ratio has become more disproportionate for our generation. The first thing to get cut, is social time. Internet social networking I feel has only contributed to this development.

I also feel like it's created a diluted pool of friends. It boggles my mind how somebody can have 500+ friends. What qualifies as a friend now? Somebody who is a friend of a friend of a friend that I happen to meet once at a party? What happened to the days of having a close group of actual people that would hang out together, in person? The mega successful show Friends, if pitched now, may not even be relevant to today's social construct. I can't think of anybody who hangs out with the same 6 people, whom have no genetic relation to each other, who hang out or play such huge roles in each others' lives.

And now there's even a movie based on the creation of Facebook! How outrageous is that?! As if to glamourize this creation. Will people go in droves to watch this movie, as if to bow down to the new Big Brother?

Finally saw it...

"If you think about it, your favorite memories, the most important moments in your life... were you alone? Life's better with company."
- Ryan Bingham from Up in the Air

When the going gets tough...

"Step your game up!"
- Marcus PSP Rivers

Just Do It!

I'd like to think of myself as a fairly laid-back guy. When I was a kid/teen and even sometimes now, I can be a pretty temperamental, fiery guy. It wasn't good at all. Because of this, I suppose I always thought being easy-going was a good thing, it's something I tried to work towards. I still do to a certain extent, but I'm also wondering lately if I have been using it as an excuse all my life.

One thing I am realizing more and more is that life is happening every second of every hour of every day. If this is the case, every moment wasted is an opportunity passed. Life can pass you by so quickly, and it's almost if nothing happened. Being laid-back, I feel like this has been happening to me for a long time now. I know sometimes people wonder why I stayed with my ex for so long, when things were so obviously not working. For those who know me, you can totally admit to this if it's true! Because in hindsight, I wonder the same thing. And it's not as if I haven't had the same feeling about other couples before.

But I do know why I stayed. I had become complacent. Feeling as if life was just happening, it was coming to me and this was just meant to happen. I wasn't always like this, when I was a kid, sure I could throw a huge tantrum, mostly because I didn't get what I wanted. There was something (okay a lot of things) that I wanted that badly to have or happen, that if I didn't get it, I'd be completely out of control. No I do not believe that reaction is very productive, helpful or mature, but at least I was going after something. What happened to that passion? What happened to that determination? What happened to that drive?

Life shouldn't be lived this way. Like a passenger on the subway just waiting for a destination to arrive. Or even worse, standing on the platform and watching the train just pass by over and over again. Get out there and take control of the car and drive it where you want it to go!

Go after what you want in life with every ounce of energy that you have. Because most likely, it's not going to come after you or hit you randomly. And even if it does, you may not value it because you never had to work for it.

Like what Nike has been telling everybody for years, Just Do It! At the time when I was maybe 10, I thought the tagline was just cool, but only now do I begin to realize the true power of the phrase, and why the campaign was so brilliant. You may fail, you may fall, but at least you tried.

Nike, for all your commercial, capitalitic ways, you sure are wise!

Figuring out what to chase, now that's a subject for a totally different matter! :P

The only thing that matters...

The only thing that matters in love is courage. Everything that's good about love is borne out of it. The truest revelations of self require it. There is no honesty without it. It takes courage to put the needs of another above your own. You can't tell the most important stories about your past, can't reveal your imperfections, without it. You can't see the flaws in your own expectations of love without being brave enough to admit they are misguided, damaged, even boneheaded, then do the work to adjust them to the love you come to discover. It is courage that allows you to step into the jaws of trust.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/women-advice/how-to-win-an-argument-with-a-woman#ixzz0yOKKK95N