During the holidays I had some free time on my hands. I decided that I would try to clean up my computer (the files, not the physical object). It has been long overdue. When I mean long overdue, I mean over a decade.
Every time we would upgrade the computer, the files would get shifted from one hard drive to the next. Each time, it would be listed as something like "D Drive Backup". This happened several times over the years. It was quite the time warp, I could see what was on my desktop in 2004, projects I was working on, what songs I was listening to, etc... Some of the folders and files went back to 2000.
I have to admit, it was kinda neat. Until I stumbled upon particular folders. I had saved chat logs, emails and photos as well. I decided to open a chat log that I had between my ex gf and I from 2005 and take a read through. What a mistake that was.
As I read through our conversation, I was reminded of how good things were between us at it's best. I had forgotten how much she actually understood me. From there, I had to stop and just sit there for maybe 15 minutes to process all the thoughts that came rushing in. I really thought I was past everything and I thought I could handle opening the file. I don't know if I was wrong or if it just opened old wounds.
I never did get back to cleaning up my computer from there. The files still remain, as I didn't really know what to do with them. Maybe I should throw them away, as to not repeat the same experience. At the same time, scars remind us of the past mistakes we have made and lessons we should keep. Maybe I'm over thinking this.
