The Rejectee Becomes the Rejector (and it's not great)

When it comes to dating, I've been on the rejectee side of things. While it's disappointing, eventually after awhile you get use to it. As a guy, stereotypically being the pursuer, you get use to it.

After first dates, if I'm not feeling it, I generally don't call for a second date. I don't feel like I owe any sort of explanation, as a first date (I think) is just a meeting of two people to see if things are good enough to keep getting to know each other. It's no different than meeting at a party or a bar or a supermarket.

Recently, there was a mutual rejection, but that's a bit different. This though was the first time in a long time when I had to be the rejector. And I have to say, it feels kinda crappy. We went out three times, and I could tell that she was interested. At first, I wasn't initially super interested, but there was something there that I found interesting. She wasn't the usual type that I'd be interested in, but there was something about her that was appealing. So I decided to ask her out again. The second time was kind of the same, there was something intriguing about her, but I wouldn't quite call it attraction. 

Here's where things get a bit sketchy on my part. I had a pretty good feeling I wasn't attracted to her, but I did have a good time being with her. I wasn't too sure if I wanted to give it another shot, but I decided I had nothing to lose. Though now she was texting me during the week and I didn't really feel excited about it to the point where I was not really up to texting her back. It felt dishonest in a way.

For me, this is kind of the litmus test. If I go out with a girl, and I'd rather be playing volleyball, that I'm probably not that into her. I mean I love volleyball, but I would easily miss a day of playing for a girl that I'm interested in. Thinking about it while I was leaving volleyball, I realized, that I would rather play than go on the third date the next day. That was a bad sign. I was already committed however, so I went.

And again, it was the same. I had a fun time, but I just didn't feel that chemistry with her. There were even two or three times during the course of the date when there were other girls around that I had to consciously stop myself from checking out. But hanging out with her was more fun than say, sitting at home or even watching a movie.

It took me awhile to pull the trigger and let her know. I was bouncing back and forth whether I should give it another shot. Based on how I was feeling, I knew that I should not. There were a few things about her that bothered me, and I tried using that to justify it. I guess the hard thing about it, is that she's a genuine person, who on paper is great, but in person, just something wasn't there.

I don't know how girls are use to rejecting guys, a friend of mine, she rejects guys pretty frequently. To her, it's no big deal. Before, I thought being the rejector would be easier, but this experience made me see that both sides of rejection sucks.