I meet up with my best friend for dinner the yesterday and we had an interesting conversation. We're talking about people who we know that are single. From there, I made a comment that went along the lines of "there are some people, you can tell why they're single" to which my friend agreed.
Now I've been single for quite awhile, so I asked point blank "so you must think I'm one of those people". Without thinking about it, he was like "yup". I was pretty surprised, I mean I guess I can't be shocked, because if I wasn't, I would be with somebody. Makes sense. So I ask him why he thinks that is. He was pretty hesitant to share with me the reasons, but I assured him that I would be fine.
First thing he said was that I'm too nice. I'm sitting listening to this thinking "is there such a thing?". He said that I'm too one dimensional in this sense, that he could see how I don't offer girls a certain level of excitement. I'm that guy that all girls are friends with, who are the shoulders to cry on, but never the guy to date. While this isn't news to me, I was pretty taken aback.
He says on a positive note, I have no problem talking to girls, but that I don't usually come across as anything more than a good conversation. I get set aside into that friend zone pretty quickly. Apparently I need to be more aggressive, that every girl likes their guys to be kind of jerks. I guess what this translates to is more that guys who know what they want and stand up for it. Nice guys are way too accommodating according to him, hence they make good friends.
Secondly, he said that I over analyze opportunities, whereas I should just not think about it and go for it. If things end poorly, then just chalk it up to experience. This part I knew already for sure, I think I've heard this from everybody.
I don't really have a problem with the second one, but the first one has me a bit baffled. I mean I understand what he's saying and where he's coming from. But I'm not really sure how to change something like that.
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