Keeping an Eye on the Prize

"Those who mind, don't mind. Those who matter, don't mind"
- Dr. Seuss

So the last month or my life has been pretty drama filled. Not particularly the kind that I like. Okay well more like 50/50. The highs have been so high and the lows pretty low.

I guess I've been getting hung up on things (specifically people), and it feels like it's holding me back. These people have/had the possibility of moving my life forward. But for the last little while, it is starting to become clear to me that maybe (or more likely probably), these people aren't going to fulfill my long term goals. Not from what I can tell for now at least.

But I can't help feeling the way I do. Though it's making me feel pretty stupid. This is where I wish I could be more robotic, and let logic prevail. I've never been that way though, and I guess that what makes me less adaptable and slower to move on. I really wish I could change that about myself, but it feels like it's something that is deep down that might be just part of the core of who I am. As my mom says "you're making the same stupid mistakes that you did 15+ years ago".

What I can do however, is change my focus. I did some sports psychology courses when I was younger, and one of the things they tried to do, was in order to forget when things didn't go your way earlier, was to stay focused on the main goal. While this singular focus can make a person kind of oblivious, it really is a way of kicking all the distractions out. Maybe I should employ this tactic in my life. And I guess it kind of makes sense, you can't really change things that have happened or things and even people that are around you. But what you can do, is to stay concentrated on what will make you happy, and do your best to ignore the things that are not. Or even better, is to cut away the things that are causing you grief. Because what purpose is it serving other than annoyance and frustration?

I have kind of done my best to move away from this goal oriented approach to life the last few years. As I found out, that as many plans you may have laid out in front of you, that things rarely work out as you think they should. This was a set up for major disappointment, and I started to go into a wait and see approach to life. While this change of pace for a few years was needed, both mentally and emotionally, it feels like it's time to get back on track. Working towards gaining things in my life, rather than just letting things come to me.