Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013

At the end of every year, I can't help but get a little retrospective. Over the past 3 or 4 months, I can't lie, I've been feeling pretty blah. That's not to say everything has been terrible. Looking back on the past year as a whole, I'd say it was somewhere in the middle. In relation, overall it was not as good as 2011, but better than 2010.

If I had to give 2012 a theme or title, it would be despite the setbacks, hope remains.

Alright, here we go, lets start with the good:

• even though I'm still single, dating came a lot easier this year than last, actually got excited about a few of them this year, compared to last year which seemed like a total write off
• the trip to Turkey was awesome
• made progress decorating my place, finally
• organized my storage space, to me that's been the most surprising in a way
• finally cut my hair, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be
• a new car
• met more and more volleyball peeps, playing higher level ball more frequently
• cooked for the first time: chili, tiramisu, rice pudding, meatballs, roasted veggies
• concerts: black keys, death cab, arkells
• finally played Settlers of Catan, it's awesomely addictive
• I got a raise at work, it wasn't amazing, but it wasn't terrible
• Finally splurged on a decent coffee grinder, best thing I bought all year

Now the bad:

• it's been a year of injuries, some of which will never ever get better (torn right ACL, torn right medial meniscus)
• more dates is great, but it's also more drama
• remaining grandparents' health continue to deteriorate, though I suppose it's feeling more of an inevitability
• still at the same job, I am doing very little and learning even less, I don't even know if I want to stay in my field at all, but I can't afford to go back to school either
• my old car broke down on the side of the highway, one highway exit away from my place at 2am on the coldest night in January, FML
• a new car, as much as I like not having to worry about every new random sound and that I can haul stuff, it was a cost I was hoping was not going to come until later, and the ongoing cost of a new car I underestimated
• especially after replacing the brakes just a month earlier, goodbye money, it was nice to know you
• my kitchen is still a mess more often than not
• Ikea discontinued a lot of their birch stuff, sucks when you've already committed to decorating using that colour little by little
• NHL lockout

Looking on the bright side:

• despite 3 months of inactivity, I still fit in my clothes, albeit more snuggly
• even though my injuries are severe and will never heal, I am back to playing vball, though I may never get back to where I was before, I was going crazy without it
• I still have my job, I can still pay my bills and survive
• there are a lot of people who have it worse off than me, and for that I should be thankful

Observations:

• life is going to continue to happen, regardless if you choose to check out (mentally, emotionally or physically) or not, may as well and try to have a good time, and when things aren't so good, to just try your best to ride it out
• change isn't inevitable, but the passing of time is, they are not connected
• the more I realize how little I control, the more in control I feel
• I wish I did more of the things that I like (learning to cook new things, trying different restaurants, travel, concerts, volleyball), but that's really within my control, I suppose that should be my resolution for 2013

The Rejectee Becomes the Rejector (and it's not great)

When it comes to dating, I've been on the rejectee side of things. While it's disappointing, eventually after awhile you get use to it. As a guy, stereotypically being the pursuer, you get use to it.

After first dates, if I'm not feeling it, I generally don't call for a second date. I don't feel like I owe any sort of explanation, as a first date (I think) is just a meeting of two people to see if things are good enough to keep getting to know each other. It's no different than meeting at a party or a bar or a supermarket.

Recently, there was a mutual rejection, but that's a bit different. This though was the first time in a long time when I had to be the rejector. And I have to say, it feels kinda crappy. We went out three times, and I could tell that she was interested. At first, I wasn't initially super interested, but there was something there that I found interesting. She wasn't the usual type that I'd be interested in, but there was something about her that was appealing. So I decided to ask her out again. The second time was kind of the same, there was something intriguing about her, but I wouldn't quite call it attraction. 

Here's where things get a bit sketchy on my part. I had a pretty good feeling I wasn't attracted to her, but I did have a good time being with her. I wasn't too sure if I wanted to give it another shot, but I decided I had nothing to lose. Though now she was texting me during the week and I didn't really feel excited about it to the point where I was not really up to texting her back. It felt dishonest in a way.

For me, this is kind of the litmus test. If I go out with a girl, and I'd rather be playing volleyball, that I'm probably not that into her. I mean I love volleyball, but I would easily miss a day of playing for a girl that I'm interested in. Thinking about it while I was leaving volleyball, I realized, that I would rather play than go on the third date the next day. That was a bad sign. I was already committed however, so I went.

And again, it was the same. I had a fun time, but I just didn't feel that chemistry with her. There were even two or three times during the course of the date when there were other girls around that I had to consciously stop myself from checking out. But hanging out with her was more fun than say, sitting at home or even watching a movie.

It took me awhile to pull the trigger and let her know. I was bouncing back and forth whether I should give it another shot. Based on how I was feeling, I knew that I should not. There were a few things about her that bothered me, and I tried using that to justify it. I guess the hard thing about it, is that she's a genuine person, who on paper is great, but in person, just something wasn't there.

I don't know how girls are use to rejecting guys, a friend of mine, she rejects guys pretty frequently. To her, it's no big deal. Before, I thought being the rejector would be easier, but this experience made me see that both sides of rejection sucks.

Turkey 2012

I have to admit that I did not keep up nearly as much in my note taking as I should have during this year's trip. It's been almost a month since we first left for Turkey (now upon completion of this post, over a month since we got back), so I'm sure there are gaps and fuzziness in my memory by now. This time around doing a tour, I kind of just wanted to let my brain go, and just take things in this time, from the planning all the way to the arriving home.

Originally I wasn't going to even write anything down, but after going through my posts from last year, I thought it was a good idea, since I forgot entire things about last year's trip. I have a super long version going, but also wanted to post something with just highlights and memorable things because:

1. The details can be pretty boring to read, and I've heard my stories can have way too many (sorry, I remember a lot of stuff).
2. They're also boring for me to recall and I'm getting bored of writing

So here we go.

The cast of characters is as follows:
Mutlu (our tour guide)
Mike and Erin from Calgary
Khalil from Edmonton
Martin from Germany
Antonia from New Zealand
Evgenia from Russia
Hayley from Australia
Yulia and Vitaly from Belarus
Claudia and Divina from Mexico
Annelle from South Africa
Jodi from Australia

ISTANBUL

• on our flight to NYC, we get delayed by maybe 30 minutes by none other than Obama
• on our flight to Istanbul, we get delayed by over 3 hours by Obama again! Get of our way POTUS! To make it even worse, we have to sit in the plane for the entire delay. (Reminder, call Delta for the travel credit!)
• getting off the tram, we're having a bit of trouble getting our bearings, this old dude sees the address and tells us to follow him. Kat is a little concerned, but it's a busy area with lots of people (plus I'm pretty sure I can take him :P). He leads us to our hotel which I think is really nice. He sticks out his hand and I shake it and thank him. BUT NO! He wants money! I give him maybe 2 lira, he's kinda pissed, but whatever. WTF! Not a very good first impression Turkish people!!!
• We are off to explore, trying to find the Grand Bazaar, a girl of maybe 5 years old hugs Kat tightly, she wants money from Kat for her affection. Can you say prostitute in training?!
• They have shops that are just dedicated to making baklava, that's how crazy it is.
• We walk to Istanbul University and wander for maybe an hour, cannot find this Grand Bazaar, it's suppose be Grand, right?!
• Thinking about going out to party in the bar district, but decide against it (good call)
• Waking up early is not for me
• The traffic in the city is worse than any place I've ever been. The trams are packed like sardines in a tin can. Our group actually gets separated because of this on our first outing!
• Being an Islamic county, they have calls to prayer 5 times a day. Even in a busy city like Istanbul, the speakers can be heard over everything!
• Learning about the historical structures the day after travel, not the best idea, soooooo tired... blah blah blah... obelisk... blah blah blah... hippodrome... 
• We go to 3 mosques in a row, Sultanamed (kinda nice), Hagia Sofia (super amazing), Blue Mosque (overhyped)
• In the tourist area, there are two kinds of street vendors that catch my eye, freshly squeezed pomegranate juice stands and these guys that make fresh lollipops. The fresh lollipops are pretty amazing to see
• Our first lunch is really good. Had the beef stew with bulgar. But the highlight was easily the baklava for dessert.
• We stumble upon Annelle and Evgenia at the end of the Blue Mosque, we wander together for the rest of the day. I have to say after this meeting, I think Annelle is super awesome. Evgenia is cool too, but super quiet. We wander around and it starts to rain, we find shelter and get a Turkish coffee and get to know each other better. For the rest of the trip Kat and Annelle hang out a lot, as the trip progresses, I can't help but think how things would've turned out differently if we had not run into them after the Blue Mosque...
• Baklava in Turkey, WAY better than anything you get at home! 
• We have our first donar for dinner, I have to say I'm underwhelmed.
• There an obvious lack of government food inspection agency here, we can see the staff handling the food without wearing any latex gloves. Gross.
• Earlier in the day we joke about an Ikea in Turkey, later we pass an Ikea in Istanbul. Irony!
• Overnight bus rides, never again! Worst sleep ever! Easily the worst way to travel overnight.
• Getting harassed by some dudes at a rest stop waiting for the washroom about not knowing Turkish, okay at this point of the trip, I'm thinking most Turkish people are unfriendly jerks who want money for everything. Seriously Turkish people, work on that.

CAPPADOCIA

• Arrive at Cappadocia, not what I expected, though I seriously didn't know what to expect.
• Mike: "We should rent those dirt bikes, we could have a race"
  Dave: "Know what would be better? Racing those dirt buggies"
  Mike: "We gotta look into that"
• Most people choose to sleep in the rooms, I go wandering with Jodi and Khalil, was pretty awesome, it was the only time I got a real coffee for the whole trip, we got to know each other better, talked about everything and anything
• Jodi: "I need a jumper"
  Khalil: "Get the dragon poncho! It's authentic!"
• Jodi on being age and single
  Jodi: "I reckon anybody over 28 and single has dodged a bullet"
• Fairy caves, are pretty cool. You mean people live in them? Even cooler!
• A ton of stray dogs and cats that the town seems to adopt as their own
• Okay fine I'll go for the Turkish Bath (the first of many things I'm doing for Canada)
• Okay fine, the Turkish Bath was kinda cool, strange how getting close to naked with 3 other dudes who you've just met, while Turkish dudes wearing just as much bathe and massage you, brings you closer together. Guys that bathe together, that's a bond that can never be broken...
• Pretty quickly, the Canadian guys bond together, over bathing, jokes, knowledge of Superman and hockey, drinking and losing at Cranium to the girls
• Mike: "Drink the whiskey!"
  Dave: "I dunno guys..."
  Jodi: "Do it for Canada!"
  I down the whiskey
• The BEARD PACT has begun! Hot shave as a reward at the end of the trip
• Mutlu: "Who's missing?"
  Everybody: "The Mexicans"
  * This would become a prevailing trend on the trip
• Nothing like eating dinner cooked in a clay pot. Also, don't mess with Jodi, she can kill a clay pot with one swing!
• Khalil and Hayley: "...Rave Cave"
  Mike and Dave: "I heard Rape Cave..."
• Lets go drinking at the Australian bar! Rocked at drunken Jenga, but clearly let the team down in drunken Cranium.
• Mike: "Rave Cave can be a Rape Cave"
  laughing 
  Khalil: "Glow Sticks!"
  laughing 
  Erin: "Strobe Light at the Rape Cave!"
  laughing 
  Khalil: "15 Seconds!"
  laughing 
• Singing Bad Boys: "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatchya gonna do, whatchya gonna do when they come for you..." 
• Hayley petting every and any animal in sight, how have you not caught ringworm yet?
• Of course I bring the gum that has the Canadian flag on it to support the Olympic team...
  Martin: "We would never have our flag on gum in Germany"
• Turkish beer Efes, not so good, Jager shots, very good (but way overpriced), still have to see if I can find Mariachi, didn't expect to be drinking this much, but glad my alcohol tolerance remains in tact
• Vegemite, still as awful as the first time years ago
• Jodi's Vegemite Face, it's priceless, in her words is better than any orgasm she's ever had
• Walking Jodi home from the bar, damn girl you're hot and you can drink/hang with the guys? How are you still single?!
• Sounds like somebody is getting some strobe light action in the next room... Khalil's got some major game
• It's a lot colder than what you said it would be Weather Network!
• Around this point in time, I start feeling a little sick...
• 5am wake up call?! $200?! For 60 minutes?! Well worth it for the Balloon Ride at sunrise! Life changing, no, amazeballs, definitely.
• There are a lot of Asian tourists here!
• 25 ppl per balloon x $200 x 100 balloons x 2 shifts/day = $1,000,000/day
• Happy Anniversary Mike and Erin!
• Dave: "It'd be awesome to play paintball here"
  Mike: "Why is that?"
  Dave: "It's so authentic, though I don't know think they'd appreciate paintballs all over these historical caves"
• These Turkish rugs are super nice! Watching them made by hand makes me understand why they're so expensive.
• Though the guy selling them is kind of a sexist d-bag. I was really hoping Jodi was going to tear him a new one, after he tried to justify why only women make the rugs.
• Do you think they'd be offended if I rub my face on the rug?
• Ayran, the most disgusting drink I think I've ever had. Yogurt and salt do NOT go together!
• After the dinner with the local family
  Dave: "This would make a great Call of Duty map"
  Mike: "I'm thinking more Assassin's Creed"
  Dave: "Good call"
  Mike: "I can make anything into a video game"
• It's windy at the top of this fortress, you know what's a good idea? We should climb on top of the wall of the fortress!
• Mutlu not impressed with our rock climbing skills, little does she know, it's only just begun!
• Watching how Turkish pottery is made, this dude is pretty funny
• Seeing kids walking home from school wearing uniforms
• At lunch, we see the pottery guy come to the same place. I guess we are eating how the locals eat
• Turkish Night! This was the only meal on the trip that I thought was amazing. Though I wish the belly dancers were hotter
• The verdict on Turkish people
  Dave: "Do you notice that Turkish people are ugly?"
  Annelle: "This is a tourist show, if these guys are the best looking this country's got, I feel sorry for these women."
  Dave: "It's not like the women are any better you know"
  Annelle: "Yeah, I know. I think the average rating of Turkish people is a 2"
• Kat: "You mean you don't find these belly dancers hot?"
  Khalil: "Two words, tramp stamp"
• Hayley and I bond over music for hours starts off like this...
  Hayley: "You love The Black Keys? I love the Black Keys!"
  Dave: "You love Death Cab? I love Death Cab!"
  Hayley: "Wow! You're pretty cool! Up until this point on the trip, you were just this random guy!"
• Dave: "You mean you've never seen any of these bands in concert?"
  Hayley: "Nobody comes to Australia!"
  Dave: "You need to move, Australia sucks!"
• Dave: "Wait, you do Vodka shots?"
  Hayley: "Yeah"
  Dave: "Nobody last night would do them"
  Hayley: "We need to hang out more"
• Khalil: "We should do Vodka shots! For Russia!"

LAKE EGIRDIR

• 4 hour morning private van ride, welcome to the group, our driver, Capt Rahbjev! By the way, I have no idea how to properly pronounce or spell his name.
• The energy drink that is actually worse than ayran, and that says a lot. It was literally like dog shit  puréed into a drink. Strike 1, Mike.
• No Kat and Annelle, guys don't sing Hakuna Matata, we just don't (thanks for the back up Jodi)
• More underground stuff? Though I think Hayley's found her dream home...
• It's Bayram! Time to slaughter goats on the streets for the next 4 days!
• Stop for Piyaz for lunch, it's this weird bean, egg, tahini, yogurt salad, where we watch 3 kittens ganging up on what appears to be the jilted whore cat of the area
• Playing Asshole/President, apparently in Australia it's known as Bitch and has a couple different rules.
• Hayley and Annelle get the Honeymoon Suite *clap, clap, clap!*
  * the three rapid claps, was defined earlier in the trip as getting it on
• Khalil: "Split a bottle of wine?"
  Dave and Jodi: "Yeah, I'm in"
  * this was my 4th night in a row drinking
  ** this conversation happened almost every meal between Khalil, Annelle, Mike, Erin, Jodi and myself from this point on
• Jodi, Khalil, Kat, Martin and myself all start singing along to Meatloaf's, I Will Do Anything for Love on the radio, okay I think we've got ourselves a theme song!
• You mean there's only a lake, a mosque and an island you can walk/bike to? I'm sleeping in
  * it was the only day I slept in (meaning waking up at 9am, not 7am) and took a long shower for the entire trip.
• Avert your eyes from the goat slaughtering!

CIRALI

• 6 hour van ride in the morning, again...
• Easily the most dreary day of the entire trip, it was cold and rainy the entire time there
• There is no hot water here...
• You know what makes things better? Wine and Asshole/President.
• You know what's a better idea? Going for a hike in the cold rain to see the Chimera...
• Hayley: "I'm kind of a pyro"
  Dave: "Try burning something"
  Hayley throws a receipt into the flame...
  Hayley: "Why isn't the receipt burning?"
  Dave: "They must make their receipts fire resistant"
  Hayley: "Really?"
  Dave: "LOL! No! :P"
• Breaking out into a random singing of Phoebe Buffay's Smelley Cat
• Jodi teaching me how to whistle, still can't do it.
• Vegetarian Pide is awesomely spicy! Who knew a vegetarian version of something could be better than the meat version!
• Best rice pudding ever!!!
• Is it just me, or am I freezing my ass off?!
• After 3 days of being sick, give me the meds, Jodi (aka vacation mom)!
• Communal drinking of the massive jug of really crappy wine in Khalil's room.
• Canadian dudes, all sharing blankets, together, yeah it's that cold.
• Is it Claudia? Or Paola? We have no idea!

UCAGIZ/OVERNIGHT BOAT TRIP

• The van again?! At least the scenery is quite nice this time.
• These roasted chickpeas are terrible! I wasn't expecting them to be chalky. Strike 2, Mike...
• We're on a boat!
• While swimming in the cave...
  "That sounds like a dolphin!"
  "I'm pretty sure that's a bat"
  "I hope it's a dolphin"
• Yay! Another fortress to climb!
• The rich dude with the helipad
• Jodi catching the sun
• Bay leaf trees everywhere
• Those are the goats who escaped Bayram!
• Breaking out into Mumford and Sons sing-a-long
• The Aussie/Kiwi rivalry finally comes out
  Antonia (to Jodi): "It's pronounced 'fish and chips', NOT 'feesh and cheeps'!"
• It's cold, we should all stand by the fire!
• I had no idea we were burning Thyme bushes, they were massive! Tree size pretty much.
• A heart to heart with Annelle while everybody plays backgammon and rummy
• Thanks for keeping the fire going mom (Jodi)!
• What do you mean we drank all the red wine on the boat?
• Screw this, we're pouring out own servings (we would later find out we cleared out all most of their vodka and whiskey)
• Khalil gets Turkish Drunk with the boat staff
  *Turkish drunk is where you don't remember parts of that night
• Khalil: "Mutlu! Mutlu! How do you say ... in Turkish?!"
  *I don't know how many times he asked this
• Jumping off the top deck of the boat (for Canada of course)
• Apparently fish like potato chips, corn nuts and other things
• What do you mean this camera card is corrupted?!

DEMRE/KAS

• Stopping at the pebble beach at the restaurant (seemingly in the middle of nowhere) with the awesome view of the sea, but the meals take forever!
• Cheeps!!! I fuckin' LOVE cheeps!!!
• This is the first time I realize that they don't level the land here, then build. They build on top the hills and valleys
• We see our first theatre, it holds approximately 4000 people
• Having communication problems with the waiter, my coffee didn't arrive until we were leaving!
• Looks like they're having a concert/festival in the town square that reminds me of the port in Marseilles, but smaller, cleaner and nicer
• Lets get some ice cream! Mmmmmm pistachio!
• We're the only ones at the bar, I guess we're here early
• Talking to Khalil, Annelle and Jodi into sticking around and get our drink on
• Worst DJ ever! Who plays REM's Losing My Religion to get people in the mood to dance?
• Vitaly and Yulia awkwardly dancing, awwwwwwww!
• Where did Annelle and Khalil disappear to?
• This music sucks so bad, my desire to stick around is wavering, I think I'll go take some photos
• Okay, I'm a little bit lost, I'll make my way back to the bar
• Mutlu (to Dave): "Are you staying? Mike said you were going..."
  Khalil (to Dave): "What?! You can't back out!"
  Dave: "Yeah I'll stay, I was thinking about it though, you guys disappeared and this DJ is terrible!"
• Dave: "Is that new?"
  Annelle and Khalil: "We got nose rings!"
• Annelle (to Dave): "Their mojitos are really good!"
• Rounds of shots at the bar of a now super packed tiny club
• Way too many photos of us giving the camera the finger
• Dancing (and other stuff) with Annelle in the middle of the packed club
• Completely forgetting about Khalil and Jodi
• Apparently this lady at the club is pissed off with me, I'm so drunk at this point, whatever
• Stumbling out of the club with Annelle, have no idea how we're going to find Khalil and Jodi, may as well keep on with other stuff
• Hey! There's Khalil!
• Realizing how drunk I am when I have to go to the washroom and rest my forehead on the wall at the urinal...
• Khalil: "How drunk are you?"
  Dave: "I'm okay..."
  Khalil: "How drunk are you?"
  Dave: "Yeah I'm pretty drunk, do you know how to get back to the hotel?"
  Khalil: "Nope"
  dum, dum dum...
  Dave: "I'm pretty sure our hotel is in Demre, but that's all I know"
• Dave (to the taxi driver): "It's in Demre"
  Annelle (to the taxi driver): "It's the pink one!"
  Jodi (to the taxi driver): "It's shaped like this!" *makes the shape of a heart, what was suppose to be a rectangle
• We get back to the right hotel miraculously. Jodi heads to Khalil's room, hmmmmmm...
• Have the worst headache ever, wonder how bad this hangover is going to be...
• Almost passing out in the hallway

PAMUKKALE

• Wow, no hangover! Awesome!
• 5 lira for the smallest, crappiest coffee ever! Even for instant coffee, fail!
• Nope, not so much in the mood for a museum...
• These ruins are in really bad condition, but the road is still pretty good
• Walking through Hierapolis with Jodi for the afternoon, just talking, mostly about the world, politics, immigration, human rights
• Awesome view of the town below and the sunset (as well as the moon rising)
• Ah! Here are the white cliffs! I wish I saw these first, and not the ruins...
• Walking down the white cliffs in the dark, in barefoot, at least the hot spring water running down the cliffs was pretty warm
• This town really does suck, the ruins and white cliffs are the only thing that's here. Other than that, it was maybe six streets
• OMG, Haley, what did you buy?!?! (It was a singing/dancing doll of this guy who's a character on Turkish television, his Turkish name escapes me, but we all called him Pépé)

SELCHUK

• EPESUS! This is probably the first set of ruins EVER that I've been through that are seriously amazing!
• somebody left a gummy bear sitting up on the ruins :P
• The guy at the excavation site letting us go through the restricted area
• An ancient theatre that seats more people than an NHL hockey area, CRAZY
• Genuine Fake Watches
• Hey look, a riot!
• Hey, there's a barbershop right beside the restaurant!
• Okay Mike, we will end the beard pact early and get a hot shave after dinner
• Fireworks go off while getting a hot shave, loud noises while a dude has a razor at your throat is disconcerting...
• The restaurant owner giving me a 'shave' with a sword
• Getting shaved while listening to Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe
• Ola! Don Khalil!!!
• Grape and Apple hookah, it was okay
• Wha? I hear City and Colour playing at the bar?
• Backgammon tournament, Mutlu isn't very happy with me :P
• Thanks for the ice cream Kat! This strawberry one is kinda stretchy. It's really the only way I can describe it.
• Martin and I end the finals in a draw
• Chilling with Mike, Erin, Khalil and Jodi at the bar afterwards
• It's starting to pour! We have to finish this wine though...
• The bar owner is giving us a ride back to the hotel, awesome!

AYVALIK

• The fact that the trip is coming close to an end is starting to dawn on me
• Free deep fried bread! It's gross yet delicious at the same time
• Tauntish! The dog of the bed and breakfast, so friendly!
• This is the coolest house ever! I wish I lived here.
• So what are we having for dinner?
• Walking around the city with Khalil, grabbing some cookies and chillin'
• Mike passes by, tells us he's looking for a shirt, we're not doing anything too much, sure we'll tag along
• Now that I think about it, I could use a shirt, I never thought I'd be clothes shopping with two other dudes on vacation
• on choosing a shirt at Mavi
  Dave: "What do you think?"
  Mike: "Looks good"
  Dave: "Done"
  Kat would later approve of the choice, thanks Mike!
• Still on the hunt for this mulberry wine, it's been days! But we did find regular wine, that'll do for now.
• Back early, may as well break open this wine and play some backgammon
• This rooftop view really is fantastic (I never use the word fantastic, that's how good it was)
• Annelle and Kat arrive back and are knitting?!
• Okay, really this time, what are we having for dinner?
• These hats are kinda cool, lets try them on.
• Jodi is the head chef for the evening, Mike and Dave will be sous chefs, for the evening we will be having an asian chicken chili stir-fry and rice.
• We're all off to the market and each have our items to find, and break!
• This kitchen is definitely not made, nor equipped for three people to work in at once.
• Being in a house, it's kinda cool, that we can all have a chill evening where we can just hang out.
• At the end of the evening, it was the first time I really thought "it'll be sad to leave this place and these people" though in a way, this night would've been a fitting ending

CANAKKALE

• Driving along the Aegean Sea, awesome views
• Martin will be our tour guide for this morning! Please, tell us the story of Troy!
• That giant horse is really hokey, I guess I should go up it since I'm here
• Troy, easily the WORST ruins, though the itinerary does warn you that you have to use your imagination
• Look out for the spider webs!
• Off to Gallipoli, the ferry ride across is pretty cool.
• Jodi and Antonia get emotional at the war memorial
• Poor sea urchins washed up on the shore
• Walking through a former battlegrounds and trenches, you get a better sense of what soldiers might have had to go through, it's a little unnerving actually
• Wow, seriously, Jodi and Antonia went from arch enemies to BFFs
• University town on the Aegean Sea, with bars all up and down the harboured coast, by comparison, our university towns suck!
• Brad Pitt donates the horse from the movie Troy to the city, MUCH more impressive than the hokey one
• This place we're going to for dinner looks fancy...
• "What do you mean it's not available? It's on the menu!"
  *this would apply to almost half of the menu, what kind of restaurant is this?!?
• The food didn't even end up being that good. Though when doing the conversion, I think it ended up costing less than $20. But based on the decor and the relative pricing, you would expect much better food
• This pumpkin dessert is sadly not like pumpkin pie at all
• Off to the bar, Mutlu seems excited
• Ummmmmm... this bar isn't that great, sorry Mutlu
• Stopping for dessert on the way back to the hotel, fanciest presented baklava I've had this trip
• Ah crap, I lost my toothbrush!

ISTANBUL

• This mornings bus ride feels much more ominous that all the others, unlike the other mornings' bus rides, this one is very quiet the whole way, it feels much more like we're on our way home rather than to another stop, even though we still have one night left
• Official end of the tour. :(
• How we ended up at our tour guide's place
  Mike (to Mutlu): "Did you need help with your stuff?"
  Mutlu: "No, it's okay, I'm taking a taxi back to my place."
  Dave: "Party at Mutlu's!"
  Mutlu: "We can do that."
  Dave: "Really? I was just joking, but if you're up for it, it'd be kinda cool."
  Mutlu: "Let me call my roommate."
• Off to the Grand Bazaar! Hopefully we can find it this time!
• I've bought NO souvenir's yet, I better get on this
• What a tourist trap...
• What to get, what to get... I just need to start getting things
• Where's Kat and Annelle?
• The Spice Bazaar is not a 15 minute walk from the Grand Bazaar, <sarcasm>thanks a lot Khalil</sarcasm>
• Sorry I'm late everybody...
• An early goodbye to Mike and Erin in the stairwell. :(
• Off to Mutlu's!
• This part of Istanbul, it reminds me of Etobicoke, mostly houses, some apartment buildings, some restaurants, a grocery store and a train station
• It's weird, but I realize at this point, Mutlu is not our tour guide anymore, and we're still hanging out, it's nice that she think enough of us to invite us to her home
• We have to be quiet, otherwise the neighbour might throw a shoe at us. Though I wonder if we're also quiet because we're all tired, and for a lot of us it's the last night. If our minds are already thinking about packing up, catching the plane, etc...
• Saying goodbye to everyone :(
• I'm getting baklava and turkish delights for people, off to wander the streets of Istanbul after midnight
• At 1 in the morning in Aksaray, you can get prostitutes and baklava on the same corner
• Last chance to get the Starbucks mug at the airport, they don't have it? boooooo!
• Almost missing my flight, they even announced my name on the PA!

ODDS & ENDS
(re-occurring events, observations and things I can't quite recall where they fit in)
FOOD:

• Every breakfast was bread, olives, goat cheese, yogurt, tea. Some places had dried fruit and honey. You have no idea how happy I was to have peanut butter when I got home.
• Survived off a steady diet of gozleme, which is basically a savory crépe, though it reminds me of roti
• Kofte, which is a turkish meatball, was also in steady rotation
• Beef makes up almost 80 percent of their meat, followed by lamb. I never thought I'd miss chicken, but I did.
• Introduced to Raki, which is the leading brand of the official liquor of Turkey, it has an anise flavour, but you actually add ice to the shot and let it melt. It goes from clear, to a murky colour.
• I wish I had more pomegranate juice now that I see how expensive it is at home, was equates to $1.50 for a glass of freshly squeezed pomegranate juice. Here that would easily be four or five times as much
• In some ways I wish I weren't so health conscious, I would've had baklava or rice pudding every night, now I can't...
• Yogurt and Seasonal Herb potato chips is just Sour Cream and Onion, fail!
• Checking out the nuts and dried fruit stand with Jodi, we ended up buying a whole bunch
• I'd swear they are mini-almonds, but their actually apricot seeds? Wha?
• Seeing the following trees: walnuts, olives, figs, pomegranates, apricots, persimmons, currents

REST STOPS and DRIVING:

• Aww, the crates fell off of the that fruit truck at the highway exit
  Mutlu (to everyone): Anybody want to go help that truck?"
  We all helped pick up pomegranates and persimmons from the road, we would all then get invited/volunteered to pick persimmons from trees for the far. They would send us off with what seemed like a whole bushel of persimmons. Fresh persimmons right of the tree, AMAZING!
• Dave (to Annelle): "Macarons... in Turkey... at a rest stop.... How good could those be?"
• Annelle's love of sweets (candy)
• Jodi can sleep anywhere, I seriously saw this in action
• The Beards - Sex With a Bearded Man, youtube it, it's funny, thanks Hayley
• EVERY rest stop, the girls come back with bags of candy and cookies, which leads to...
• Jodi, Haley and Antonia trading stories about how much weight they've gained since starting their travels
• I guess the same rule in Canada goes for Turkey, never buy produce at a rest stop
• The biggest washroom I've ever seen was at one of the rest stops on the way to Cappadocia
• Khalil and I getting an eyeful, seeing Vitaly and Yulia making out, we then promptly point it out the Hayley, the hamster dance becomes their porn music

OUR TOUR GUIDE, MUTLU:

• Our tour guide Mutlu, really gave us a bit of an inside perspective of what it's like to live in Turkey from a leftist, liberal perspective. She has views that could be seen as feminist, independent and modern. At home, she would not be out of place, but in Turkey, she is definitely in the minority. You can hear the strained passion in her voice that it's an exhausting battle she must face, living in the country that she does.
• Mutlu also really loves Canada, Toronto in particular (she had visited recently), she gave our group a speech about when she visited Canada, that people are just allowed to be who they are, it sounds like she would like to move here one day. For her sake, I really do hope she makes it. She's really cool, and it's tough to see how repressed she must be living where she does.

LIFE:

• It's highly unlikely you'll return to the place you're visiting, so you may as well (within reason) experience as many things as possible while you're there
• It's very possible to act younger than your age, but very difficult to act older than you already are
• Time is not money, time is definitely worth a lot more than money
• I am jealous of the care free attitude that youth affords, but I am grateful for the knowledge that experience has given me
• You shouldn't settle for one or the other, why can't you have it all (thanks Kat!)

Turkey: What I Learned...

I'm currently working on a summary of my recent trip to Turkey, but the post is taking forever. I'm on the fourth night working on it, so I thought I'd post this first.

I find every time I travel, I learn new, big things about myself. I'm not sure if I posted this last year, but the big overarching lesson I learned from going to France was, "Why am I waiting to do things?". The French seemed to just live in the moment more and did what they wanted. Unlike Canadians, they were quite unapologetic going abouts doing what they were doing. Not in a rude, loud way like Americans, but still with confidence and swagger.

From this, when I got home, I started playing beach volleyball after wanting to for so long and always putting it off. And that turned out great.

1) Keep On Changing
I've been rightly accused of living a complacent existence. I am very aware of this. I have always made excuses for this, the main one being that I enjoy being comfortable. I may not being entirely happy, but I'm for the most part content.

However this is not the way to grow and progress. Standing still will only garner the same results. I would say that my life has been at a relative standstill for the last three years. Granted I have moved on in some ways (getting over my ex, gaining more independence, social life wise), in many ways I feel much hasn't changed. And it's really my own fault. I've never pushed myself out of my comfort zone. It's in those uncomfortable areas do we find out what we're made of.

Change doesn't happen on it's own, you have to make it happen, as against your instincts as this may be.

If you're comfortable, you're standing still. Standing still for too long, is not good.

2) Be Aggressive
So this girl caught my attention when I was there, I could feel myself being way too obvious. Apparently it was obvious to everybody else too. I didn't want to ruin anybody's vacation by making them feel awkward, so I decided to keep my distance.

And I get this, I really do, especially considering the situation, but I remember somebody telling me back at home, that if you see something you want, you should just go for it.

Later on, I'd be told by the same girl that I was too nice, and I should be more aggressive. It's one thing to be told that I'm too nice by girls at home, it's another thing completely to be told the same thing by a girl from another country. It really hit me, even though I was half drunk at the time.

This only re-instilled in my mind, that you should just go for it. It's not the Canadian thing to do. It's not the Asian thing to do. BUT, it's the thing that you should REALLY do. People never regret the things they did, but the chances they never took. Take your shots. Sometimes you land, other times you miss and at worst you get hit back, but at least you're not left with 'what if'.

3) Mistakes Are What Make Life Interesting
This goes back to the point above. When everything goes to plan, it's nice, but it's boring. If you really want something, take the gamble. Short term, it might suck, but long term, you'll at least have an interesting story. Supposedly it builds character.

4) How Much I Love Canada
I love to travel, don't get me wrong. And other places are definitely more socially and culturally interesting. But I don't think I'd be willing to make the trade offs. When I think about the multi-culturalism, the tolerance and acceptance (at least on the surface), the level of safety and the access to amenities and services that are available in Canada (specifically Toronto), I don't think I could live anywhere else.

* On a Much Smaller Note, I Can Still Hold My Liquor
Surprisingly, even though I hardly drink, I can still keep up with uni kids. I mean I still hit it hard maybe two or three times a year, but not nearly as much as I use to. So to me, being able to get Turkish Drunk a few nights in a row, was kinda awesome.

How it Feels to Be a Guy on a Date

A nervous interview with a gorgeous woman. This is exactly what a date/dating can feel like if you really like the other person. At least I think so from a guy's perspective.

You're trying so hard to impress the other person. Doing your best not to screw up and come off goofy or even worse. Yet it seems no matter how hard you try, the screw up seems inevitable, and probably more often than we know.

It always feels efforted, awkward and strained. You may know how you feel, but saying it in a way that comes across well, isn't exactly easy, and being direct can be way too harsh. You want to get your point across, but we wrap it up in humour, charm or other devices as to soften the delivery.

It's because of this, I (and most other guys) have the utmost respect, to the point of envy, of the select guys that are ladies' men. Because they just seem to be able to make it so smooth. As a regular guy, I guess you just have to hope that the other person can look past it, or maybe even find the effort alone endearing, regardless of how it comes off.

It would be nice to get cut some slack, but it just does not appear to be in the cards. And to be fair, us guys can be equally judgemental of girls. Though I wonder from a girl's perspective, is it just as awkward for them? Am I wrong in thinking that they hold all the cards?

*As a side note, Joey sleeps with the interviewer to smooth things over. This simply does not apply in real life.

Purpose...

But, as you well know, appearances can be deceiving, which brings me back to the reason why we're here. We're not here because we're free. We're here because we're not free. There is no escaping reason; no denying purpose. Because as we both know, without purpose, we would not exist.
It is purpose that created us.
Purpose that connects us.
Purpose that pulls us.
That guides us.
That drives us.
It is purpose that defines us.
Purpose that binds us.

- Agent Smith

Agent Smith from The Matrix is probably one of my favourite movie characters of all time. While there is no denying his character is a villainous, he is not one without reason. True he may have been evil, but there was no denying his logic at times. His above quote from the second movie has always stuck in my mind, even all these years later.

I agree with Agent Smith's philosophical quote above, without purpose we would not exist. There must be some meaningful reason for existing, otherwise life is inconsequential. 

I've had a lot of time to think lately, and in some ways I think it's a good thing, in other's not so much. Repeatedly I have been questioning my life and it's purpose. Is there a greater meaning to my life other than breathing? Yes, I have friends and family, but that's not really purpose, they are attachments. My occupation does not greatly benefit or affect other people or society, so that's not it. My hobbies and interests are for self enjoyment alone, so you can cross that off.

I feel lately as if there is a lack of purpose, or optimistically looking at things, I am unaware of my purpose. What is it that I do? Or what is it that I'm meant to do? Is it something which I define or has purpose created me?

Just Have To Keep Telling Myself...

Matt Wertz - Everything Will Be Alright

There's no need to worry baby
We could leave it behind
Most my troubles are self-created
They just live in my mind

Why do we try
When it always ends up fine
Everything will be alright
(Everything will be alright)
Why do we try
When it always ends up fine
Everything will be alright

Tired of spending my days here thinking
Getting lost in my head, oh no but
The sun is shining, oh yeah
Right outside
Why don't we spend some time there instead

Why do we try
When it always ends up fine
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright
Why do we try
When it always ends up fine
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright

Why do we try
When it always ends up fine
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright
Why do we try
When it always ends up fine
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright
Alright alright alright alright
Everything will be alright
Alright alright alright alright
Everything will be alright

The Dating Game

By referencing dating as a game, would mean there's a winner and a loser. At any given point, you can be either ahead or behind (usually in relation to the person you're dating). I have always been against this metaphor, because I hate thinking about it this way. Yet after all this time, I can't help but feel that it's true. There are times when I feel like I'm 'winning' and others when I'm 'losing'.

There are two ways this works. First in reference to yourself in relation to a person you are seeing. It generally goes that whoever is more sought after, is winning. For example, the last, if you want to call it a relationship, sure, I was losing most of the time. Or as my BFF would like to put it, who has the upper hand.

The second way is playing against the field. This goes more along the lines of batting average. It's gotten pretty statistical. Messages to Reply rate, First Date percentage, Second Date percentage, etc... Just like any other form of statistics, the data can be skewed.

Okay so why do I hate the metaphor exactly? It implies gamesmanship as opposed to just acting how you feel. Has the concern become more about winning and losing rather than finding somebody who you enjoy somebody's company? Is saving face more important that putting yourself out there?

Unfortunately it would seem the answer is yes. Every action and decision is deliberate and meant to send a particular message to the other person. Having said this, does anybody actually act based on what they feel?

If I want to message, talk or go out with a girl, I will try to get in touch with them. Forget this whole waiting, just to appear that I am so busy or in demand and have other things going on. Sometimes yes, I am busy, but if I really want something, I'll put it ahead in the priority list. It reminds me of the Friends episode where they suggest Chandler to act aloof. What does that honestly gain him?

I guess once emotions get involved, that's when things get tricky. People waver back and forth as to what to do. BUT I generally think it's a pretty easy decision, people generally know what they feel and what they want to do, it's a matter of having the nerve to do it.

Are people willing to battle so hard as to have the upper hand, to save face, or basically win the game, that they put aside the true objective?

All the Right Moves

At least every week or two, my best friend and I have, what you could call strategy meetings. He takes quite the interest in my dating life.

The conversations go generally like this:

BFF: Hey buddy, how things going?

Me: Pretty good, busy. You?

BFF: It was alright, any dates lately?

Me: Yeah, here and there.

BFF: How'd they go?

Me: One of them was pretty good.

BFF: So how do you want to play it?

Here's where things get interesting. How do you want to play it? What does that exactly entail? When I first started dating again, it was interesting (and yet somewhat disturbing) to hear about the whole strategy of dating. Again, we go back to how it's all a game.*

It seems like every action and decision is deliberate and meant to send a message to the other person. Whatever happened to a simple, I like her, so I'll ask her out again, I don't like her, so I won't ask her out again? But I suppose, what relationship is simple.

It got me thinking, is there a right way and a wrong way to go about things? From speaking to a number of people, I don't know if there's a right and a wrong way, but there are certainly preferences as to how to do things. For instance, if you like a girl a lot, you'd better not show it. I mean WTF is that? If I like somebody, I'm clearly want the other person to know. I've never been one for subtlety, I feel something, it's going to show.

And really, it's more honest. I don't have time (or the patience) for games anymore.

When I look back at things, I always wonder, how could I have done things differently. At the moment I'm clearly thinking about things with the flaky, but in all other ways perfect girl. Did I come on too strong? For her, probably. Should I have kept more of a distance? Maybe.

If I had chosen to do things differently, would the outcome have been different? Would I be happier if I played things differently, but she was still in my life? Is doing what you feel the wrong way to go about it? Is there a right way to play it and a wrong way?

Then I ask, why should I have chosen to do things differently?

But does that really matter?

Shouldn't I just be me? Isn't that the right move?

To put things in the context of a game, it's not about being yourself, it's about winning. But in this game, you want to be yourself. But what if being yourself leads you to losing the game (which so far it has)?

That, in the end, is my dilemma.

*For more about 'the game', I'll talk more about the game in a future post. 

Don't Stop Believin'

No, this entry is not about Journey, or Rock of Ages, or any other pop culture references.

Admittedly, the last few weeks have been a little rough on the ego. A few people who are aware of my situation have even said as much. It's difficult to be on the up and up, and get thrashed around like a rag doll.

I was reading an article about a baseball who use to be one of the better pitchers, but is getting killed this year. It was advice from an older pitcher (from an opposing team) to him. He said something along the lines of, pitch smarter, don't try to get the strikeout on every pitch, but stay aggressive and believe in your stuff.

I've heard more than a few times that I will eventually find somebody. While I understand that people are trying to make me feel better, it never really did. But for some reason, the way the advice given to the pitcher, seemed to strike a chord in me (no pun intended).

For starters (again no put intended), nobody can promise that something will happen. That makes it incredibly difficult for me to take solace in the above line. Why should I believe it? It's not so much advice, as much as it's consolation.

Where this guy's advice to the struggling pitcher affected me was, that it's not that he's saying things will turn around. He doesn't know that. But he believes that the guy's talent, ability and work ethic that should hold up, and he just has to trust that will be enough to make things work out. I guess that's what I have to remember. That no matter how much I get beat up, that if I trust that I'm a good catch (wow, no pun intended again), eventually it'll happen. But I have to keep being aggressive, and putting myself out there. Because if I don't, that's a sure fire way that it won't happen.

Now for those of you that came here looking for Journey, here you go.




Journey - Don't Stop Believing

Just a small town girl

livin in a lonely world

she took the midnight train going anywhere



just a city boy

born and raised in south detroit

he took the midnight train going anywhere



a singer in a smoky room

a smell of wine and cheap perfume
f
or a smile they can share the night

it goes on and on and on and on

(Refrain)


Strangers, waiting, up and down the boulevard

their shadows searching in the night

streetlight people, living just to find emotion

hiding somewhere in the night



working hard to get my fill

everybody wants a thrill

paying anything to roll the dice

just one more time

some will win, some will lose

some were born to sing the blues


oh the movie never ends

it goes on and on and on and on




(Refrain)


Don't stop believing 

hold on to that feeling


On the Hook

As per the famous How I Met Your Mother episode. The definition according to Urban Dictionary, plus said HIMYM incident below.


A person who is "on the hook" will be overly infatuated with another person. The person who is the desired generally takes little notice (and often complete advantage) of the person who is on the hook.

Often times the person who is on the hook is a back-up.

Signs that you are on the hook:
1) giving foot rubs
2) making mixed tapes/cds/play lists
3) making chocolate cake
4) dropping everything at a moments notice to be with the other person.

Ted: "Lisa came over last night and I gave her a foot rub as we watched a move."
Marshall: "Are you guys dating now?"
Ted: "No, she is still with her boyfriend, she is just looking for the right time to break the news."
Marshall: "Dude, you are so on the hook."

It's terrible, it's a combination of the best feeling and worst feeling, wrapped into one person. As much as I would have hoped that I had more self respect than to settle being on the hook, apparently that's not the case. What's worse, is I know I'm on the hook, and yet continue to do so, somewhat willingly. WTF is the matter with me?! I know it's the occasional highs are what keep me coming back, but do I not have enough self control to get out of this vicious cycle?!

What's worse, is I know I've done it to other people too.

It Does Make Me Wonder...

Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder

Wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
Way it felt to hearing lies
People that made you cry

Feel so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath
After that, after that
Try to get you back

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a thought about you

Give me something to believe in
'Cause I don't believe in you anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
Yeah, so this is goodbye

Can’t stop my spinning head
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
Deal with things I've left unsaid

Want to dive into you
Forget what you're going through
Get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth

I still don't have a reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a thought about you

Give me something to believe in
'Cause I don't believe in you anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference
Even makes a difference to try, yeah

And you told me how you're feelin'
But I don't believe it's true anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
So this is goodbye

I've been here before, one day, a week
And it won't hurt anymore
You caught me in a lie, I have no alibi
The words you said don't have a meaning 'cause

I still don't have a reason and you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a thought about you and I
So this is goodbye

Give me something to believe in
'Cause I don't believe in you anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference
Even makes a difference to try, yeah

And you told me how you're feelin'
But I don't believe it's true anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
So this is goodbye

So this is goodbye
Yeah, so this is goodbye
Yeah, so this is goodbye

Keeping an Eye on the Prize

"Those who mind, don't mind. Those who matter, don't mind"
- Dr. Seuss

So the last month or my life has been pretty drama filled. Not particularly the kind that I like. Okay well more like 50/50. The highs have been so high and the lows pretty low.

I guess I've been getting hung up on things (specifically people), and it feels like it's holding me back. These people have/had the possibility of moving my life forward. But for the last little while, it is starting to become clear to me that maybe (or more likely probably), these people aren't going to fulfill my long term goals. Not from what I can tell for now at least.

But I can't help feeling the way I do. Though it's making me feel pretty stupid. This is where I wish I could be more robotic, and let logic prevail. I've never been that way though, and I guess that what makes me less adaptable and slower to move on. I really wish I could change that about myself, but it feels like it's something that is deep down that might be just part of the core of who I am. As my mom says "you're making the same stupid mistakes that you did 15+ years ago".

What I can do however, is change my focus. I did some sports psychology courses when I was younger, and one of the things they tried to do, was in order to forget when things didn't go your way earlier, was to stay focused on the main goal. While this singular focus can make a person kind of oblivious, it really is a way of kicking all the distractions out. Maybe I should employ this tactic in my life. And I guess it kind of makes sense, you can't really change things that have happened or things and even people that are around you. But what you can do, is to stay concentrated on what will make you happy, and do your best to ignore the things that are not. Or even better, is to cut away the things that are causing you grief. Because what purpose is it serving other than annoyance and frustration?

I have kind of done my best to move away from this goal oriented approach to life the last few years. As I found out, that as many plans you may have laid out in front of you, that things rarely work out as you think they should. This was a set up for major disappointment, and I started to go into a wait and see approach to life. While this change of pace for a few years was needed, both mentally and emotionally, it feels like it's time to get back on track. Working towards gaining things in my life, rather than just letting things come to me.

Things That Bother Me - A Special Online Dating Edition

Alright, so I gripe and complain and whine about dating, specifically online dating. Everybody is like, but you get dates, and you could meet somebody, etc... Yes, these things are all true, but there are things very specific to online dating that are annoying. Let's start, shall we.

1) Snap Judgement
You're going to judge a person by a bunch of photos and a few paragraphs? Hells yeah. I am just as guilty as anybody else who's doing it. It's unfair and it sucks, but it is what it is.

2) The Misleading Photo
I understand you're trying to sell yourself, but there's selling yourself and then there's misrepresentation. Let's be fair about this. First of all, have a profile photo to begin with. Do people go on blind dates anymore? I think not. Secondly, include a photo of yourself on a regular day. Not when you were a bridesmaid or some new years party where you spent two hours dolling yourself up. I doubt you'll be spending that much time to get ready for a first date. Thirdly, profile photos should include at least one photo of the entire body. Listing yourself as 'fit' or 'curvy' or the ever non-descript 'average' tells me nothing. If anything I've learned, girls totally lie about this part.

3) The Empty Profile
The whole point of this is to get to know somebody. You want me to write something interesting to you other than "hey", then maybe you might want to actually divulge something about yourself.

4) If You're Not Active, Get Out
There are some profiles that are listed as last logging in well over a few months ago. Especially on eHarmony when they send you limited matches per day, stop wasting my damn matches if you're not on anymore. Number 3 also applies to this.

5) Quit the Games
We met on a dating website, like fuck! There's no need to play this game of cat and mouse. We both want to meet somebody, there's no point in playing hard to get. I'm not saying to make it super easy, but if you're going to lengths to see how far we'll go, then you're just being bitchy.

6) We're All Dating Multiple People
It should be fairly understood by this point. If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask. I know I don't.

7) Distance Matters
Okay I may be deemed a hypocrite based on my history of long distance relationships, but if you're not within an hour of diving distance, forget it. And to be fair, all the girls I went out with were just barely within an hour. :P

8) Give Me Something to Work With
This is somewhat of an expansion of number 3 (you have no idea how often it happens). Yes, I get you're a nice person, but please be something more than that. Also a sense of humour and/or wit would help greatly. Women have no idea that is a rare, vastly underrated and very appealing quality in a woman.

9) Let's Just Go Out
I get the whole 'three message' process. But really, if you answer the first one I send, you know it's coming, so lets just see where this goes and save both of us the time and energy of coming up with something to write.

Hopelessy Romantic or Hopelessly Stupid

Okay, so this is kinda to explain the last blog post. So I was seeing this girl for the last 2-3 weeks or so. Lets get this out of the way, she's pretty awesome. Except she's also awesomely terrible. How do those two things co-exist? Glad you asked.

So lets start with the good stuff. She's gorgeous, she's smart, she's funny. She doesn't appear to be evil and/or crazy (fingers crossed). She also seems really interested in me, that's always a plus. Our first date was amazing, we talked for hours and it seemed like no time had passed. We could only tell how late it was because the staff were starting to bring the chairs in from the patio.

Now lets start with the bad stuff. She CONSTANTLY changes/moves/bails on plans. Every single date we've been on (which at my count is 2 1/2) has been either postponed, cancelled or she has arrived late. Now not 5-15 minutes late, we're talking over 30 minutes. That's how you get 1/2 a date. Our second date was a paltry 30 minute meeting that she squeezed me into. I mean wtf is that? That's not even the worst part. So our last date, she arrived approximately 45 minutes late. But then it was proceeded by an amazing night. Awesome you say? Not so fast. We have such a good time, she wants to hang out a couple days later. Cool, except that she pretty much disappears for the next three days practically.

We finally text a bit, she apologizes (which she's had to an awful lot over a span of two weeks). I tell her that I had a really great time with her, miss her and would like to plan to see her again. She says that I'm cute and sweet and she likes spending time with me, but she doesn't know when it may happen again as she's really busy as things have been popping up unexpectedly. Okay, LAMEST ANSWER EVER. If you really want somebody or something in your life, you'll make the time. Don't tell me that you think I'm awesome, only to throw some backdoor insult my way in the same sentence.

Then she phones me up to plan when to meet up next. Guess what, her phone cuts out all of a sudden. I call her back, she can't pick up because her dogs are giving her trouble. I tell her she can call me later, but she doesn't. The next day she says her phone died! Like literally it's not working anymore.

So here's the last straw. This past weekend, she asks what I'm doing, as if we're going to meet on Saturday night. I respond that I didn't have anything planned. And I knew she didn't. Until a few hours later she says some dinner came up with friends that she never sees anymore.

Then on Sunday evening she's not doing anything, but she's tired. I said even though she's tired, does she want to meet to do something quick, like coffee, or maybe something relaxing like a movie. She said she'd call me. Did that happen? Of course not. I get a text around midnight saying she fell asleep.

This is just stupid ridiculous. Crappy part, is she left her sweater at my place. Now it's stuck here, and it reminds me of her. You can only apologize for the same thing so much, I figure, you don't really mean it, otherwise it wouldn't keep happening with such frequency.

I hate using this term, but FML, WTF. I guess I won't be contacting her again. Hence, Bye Bye Bye...

I wish this song was angrier, it'd be perfect...

(Hey, Hey)

N'Sync - Bye, Bye, Bye

Bye, Bye, Bye
Bye, Bye...
Bye, Bye...
Oh, Oh..

I'm doin' this tonight,
You're probably gonna start a fight.
I know this can't be right.
Hey baby come on, 
I loved you endlessly,
When you weren't there for me.
So now it's time to leave and make it alone
I know that I can't take no more 
It ain't no lie
I wanna see you out that door
Baby, bye, bye, bye...

Bye Bye
Don't wanna be a fool for you
Just another player in your game for two
You may hate me but it ain't no lie,
Baby, bye, bye, bye...
Bye Bye
Don't really wanna make it tough,
I just wanna tell you that I had enough.
It might sound crazy,
But it ain't no lie,
Baby, bye, bye, bye

(Oh, Oh)
Just hit me with the truth,
Now, girl you're more than welcome to.
So give me one good reason, 
Baby come on
I live for you and me, 
And now I really come to see, 
That life would be much better once you're gone.

I know that I can't take no more
It ain't no lie,
I wanna see you out that door
Baby, bye, bye, bye...
Bye Bye
Don't wanna be a fool for you
Just another player in your game for two
You may hate me but it ain't no lie,
Baby Bye, bye, bye...
Bye Bye
Don't really wanna make it tough,
I just wanna tell you that I had enough (ooh ooh)
It might sound crazy,
But it ain't no lie,
Baby, bye, bye, bye

I'm giving up I know for sure
I don't wanna be the reason for your love no more
Bye Bye
I'm checkin' out
I'm signin' off
Don't wanna be the loser and I've had enough

Don't wanna be your fool
In this game for two
So I'm leavin' you behind
Bye, bye, bye...

I don't wanna make it tough (wanna make it tough)
But I had enough
And it ain't no lie (Bye, bye baby...)
Bye, Bye
Don't wanna be a fool for you
Just another player in your game for two (I don't wanna be your fool)
But it ain't no lie
Baby bye, bye, bye...

Don't really wanna make it tough (don't really wanna make it tough),
I just wanna tell you that I had enough (that I had enough).
Might sound crazy,
But it ain't no lie,
Bye, bye, bye